Let's Talk About Stress, Baby

What do stress and the sky have in common? >>>>>                 

>>>>> We’re all under them both (ba-da-tss). 

Okay, hilarious jokes aside, there are a million things that cause different degrees of stress on a daily basis. We do our best to manage or avoid stress, by doing things like taking “me” time, relaxing with a book, working out (which is a stressor too, by the way), going on vacation, and taking exotic supplements (wait, is that just me?). We try to wish it away, delegate, overcompensate and worry with no end in sight. The word "stress" is a bad word to most of us, but the reality is, through stress comes strength. It is only when our stress gets to be too heavy and we are crushed under the weight of it. 

One way high level gardeners will make their plants stronger, is by applying a slight amount of pressure to the stem of a plant, by slowly and gently twisting it where it is the weakest. It is just enough to cause it to crack, but not so much that it will break it. The plant adapts to the stress that was applied to it and heals itself, becoming stronger in that spot. Now, when a strong wind or an animal places stress in that spot, it will be less likely to break. This is a great illustration to encourage a different viewpoint about stress. Stress in and of itself is not bad, it is actually the only way we adapt and grow. God created us to be resilient, just as he created the plants and other animals in the same way. The mindset behind our stressors, however, are the determining factor of how well we are able to adapt and function under its weight. 

First, identify the purpose. There are many different forms of stress in our lives, and some create purpose, while others create chaos. My college Psychology professor made this point and I will never forget it: Think about being out in the middle of the ocean, treading water with a backpack on. Now, a rock gets added to your backpack. You adjust, swim a little harder, get stronger and keep going. Another rock gets added. Once you adapt to that, another rock, then another. Eventually, no matter how hard you work and how strong you get, you will sink. Think of stress in this way. Some rocks create purpose in our lives and make us stronger, while other rocks will bring us past our breaking point and we will sink.

We get stressed, we sleep, we adapt, we add more stress. This is the cycle so many of us get caught up in, until our bodies eventually say “no more”. At this point, our body will enter a state of “emergency” and will prioritize survival over optimization. Hormones will shift, nutrients will be pulled from one place and used in another (such as calcium from bone or teeth), muscle will break down and fat will take up camp where it hasn’t in the past. Sleep will become restless, hair is depleted and can fall out, skin gets dull, fingernails get brittle and weak. Reproductive health will take a back seat to survival, as well. Libido will plummet, there can be loss of period or ovulation–it is relatively common to stop ovulating and not lose a period. Your body does not care if you are likable, so family and friends might have to walk on eggshells around you. Your vanity will take a backseat, because good looking hair, skin, and nails means nothing to your survival. Fat gets stored for later and muscle gets broken down, because it is metabolically expensive. Reproduction? Your body fears you are in no condition to support another life, so it can get to the point where it won't allow it. Then, there is anxiety, depression, and over stimulation. 

Phew. I’m stressed just writing about all these things. Many of these symptoms of over-stress all happen in unison, but not all are guaranteed in every person. The worse it gets, the worse it gets. If more than a few of these non-optimal symptoms resonate with you, I recommend consulting a professional who specializes in hormone optimization, such as a functional medicine doctor or a naturopath. There are also a ton of resources for self-study such as books and online providers who offer free content in helping your body to heal from the stressors we cannot always avoid.

So, what are the rocks in your backpack? 

Do this exercise:

Step 1: Write down things in your life that cause you stress, good or bad. Workout classes, taking care of parents, a certain coworker, a career you feel stuck in, a 'friend' that would hold your head under the water, if given a chance, and anything else you can think of. Now, circle the ones that give you purpose: volunteering at church, even though it isn’t always convenient. Taking care of your children, even though they drive you crazy. Working out, studying your passion..etc.

Step 2: Of all the "purpose-driven stressors", ask yourself, "why does this cause me stress, even though I love it?". Is it because you are doing too much of it? Is it taking away from other things in your life you find equally important? Has it become a burden? Example: "I love going to workout classes, but I am so sore and tired when I get done, I can barely get stuff done around my house". Now, find a way to “mend” these things, by doing a more appropriate version of it, such as calling Kayla DeJager Strength Training for a more appropriate workout routine ;).

Step 3: Circle the ones holding you under water: Toxic coworker, dead end job, saying “yes” to things out of obligation, not love. This is a tougher list, because unfortunately, we just can’t eliminate everything we don’t like. Though, do it if you can! These are the rocks that need to be countered by more good things in our lives -- I'll call these things, "floaties".

Step 3: Add a “floatie” for each bad rock to help offset their damage. These are the things that keep us sane. This is when it is time to make a point to find genuine, human connection through friends (IN PERSON), pray for the strength to surrender it to God, reignite your passion for art or reading or gardening, sit on the porch and watch the chickens peck the ground, or just straight-up learn to say “no”, without guilt or fear or backlash.  This is going to take practice and for every flaotie we add, we are going to be tempted to add another rock. Don't do that! If unexpected tragedy strikes or a period of high levels of stress takes over, sometimes we have to limit the "good rocks" too. Exercise, sauna, cold plunging, restricting calories ... etc are all examples of the good rocks we can reduce or eliminate when a tragic season strikes.

We all have stress in our lives. How we apply it will make all the difference in our ability to adapt and recover. I didn't touch on this enough, but sleep more. Sleep more, sleep more, sleep more! All types of stress: mental, emotional and physical all elicit a neurological response in the brain. Our body and brain recover and adapt during sleep, so if we are depriving it of that time, we will never reach our adaptation potential. I'll be doing a whole blog on sleep to drive this point home further.